Episode: 057: Ask Dr. Leman (Exhausted Mom, Anti-Dolls Dad)


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057: Ask Dr. Leman (Exhausted Mom, Anti-Dolls Dad)

What would you do if you birthed 4 kids in 6 years and were told to keep having kids even though you were completely exhausted? How would you react if your husband got enraged when your young son even touched a doll or any “girl” things? Hear Dr. Leman’s answer in this episode.

Questions

LISTEN HERE

Question 1: (Audio Question)

I, the mom, am completely exhausted from having 4 kids in 6 years. Our church does not allow us to use birth control. We have abstained, so we don’t get anymore kids. We have lost intimacy. What should we do?

Answer:

  • Jesus Christ is the core of the church. Listen to what the Bible is saying. Beware of men taking things too far.
  • Being distant and alienated from your husband will hurt your marriage. Your marriage is the foundation for your parenting.
  • Your husband wants to be needed and wanted by you.
  • Wives seek communication and affection.
  • Moms wear down because people want a piece of them. Your body will react if you are constantly under stress.
  • Find some women that are in a similar situation and barter for babysitting.
  • You need time alone with your husband to reconnect. Find it.

Question 2:

Hi Dr. Leman,
Let me begin by saying thank you for creating your podcast. I have read most of your books and they are helped me tremendously both as a mother and a wife and your podcasts help reinforce everything I’ve read, or may have forgotten or missed in your books.

I have a 7 year old daughter and a 4 year old son. My husband and I usually agree on almost everything when it comes to raising our kids. However, he is strongly against boys playing with dolls or any kind of girl toys. When my son and daughter play together and my son plays with my daughter’s toys, my husband flips out and yells at him to put them down. It’s gotten to the point where a few days ago, my son got a Mario Kart race car toy with a princess driver in his Happy Meal and the first thing he said to me was “I hope Dad doesn’t see this or he is going to be very mad.” and then he asked me to hide it for him.
How do I make my husband understand that playing with girl toys will not make my son less of a boy or make him gay? I don’t want my son to grow up feeling like he has to hide things from us for fear of us getting mad at him.
Thank you for your time, I look forward to your response.

Answer:

  • Older sisters will dictate what happens with younger brothers
  • Dad needs to realize that he is creating a problem, not solving it. He is acting like a 4 year old.
  • Your husband needs to be called out about his behavior with soft starts and gentle words. Use the slip him an announcement technique.
  • You can even ask him to listen to this podcast.

Announcement

The next session is on Without a Relationship, we have nothing.. If you have a question or thought regarding this topic, please leave us a voicemail for the next session. It must be under 30 seconds for the podcast. We reserve the right to use your question on the podcast. (This is NOT a private voicemail for personal counseling.)

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Have a New Kid by Friday with Dr. Kevin Leman
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